Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
