he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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