Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dignity is for republicans.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
