Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
