woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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