Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
