By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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