I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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