just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
