remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize