Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
