it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
