no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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