To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
