i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
