did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
then he tried to convert me to islam
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
