WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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