She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize