i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
