He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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