all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
