I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
