you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
