yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
