I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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