i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
