He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
