i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I am one with the molecules
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
