I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
