what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
