That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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