He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
