I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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