she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
