Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
