So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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