with your own penis?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
