I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
