Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
