i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
