boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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