I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
