i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
