just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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