Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
