she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
