And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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