It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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