i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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