Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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