It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
