sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
