Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Blood and glitter go together right?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
