I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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