his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
