I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize