2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
