whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
