Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
