i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
