Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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