not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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