I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
