i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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