Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
