yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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