dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
